La mayoría de las personas, más allá de cómo esté su autoestima, tenemos algo en lo que nos sabemos buenos. Algo que los demás nos reconocen, o un valor en el que trabajamos incesantemente para que se nos reconozca. Algo en lo que tal vez dedicamos mucho esfuerzo para destacarnos sin darnos cuenta…
Tal vez, en ese “sin darnos cuenta” seguimos y nos aferramos, conviertiéndose en nuestro “ancla?”, en nuestro “estandarte?”, en nuestra “identidad?”… y empezamos a sobrevalorar ese aspecto nuestro convirtiéndolo en nuestro “SUPERPODER”. Y ¿qué loco querría abandonar un superpoder?? Seguramente, NADIE!
Algunos ejemplos para ser más clara:
(En gris EL VALOR, en naranja EL VALOR SOBREESTIMADO
SOY BUENA ALUMNA | NO PUEDO FALLAR, SIEMPRE TENGO QUE SACAR 10. SINO…NO VALGO
SOY BUENA PERSONA | NUNCA DIGO QUE NO. SIEMPRE ESTOY PARA LOS DEMÁS SIN IMPORTAR MI ESTADO EMOCIONAL, MI SITUACIÓN, MIS GANAS…SINO, NO SOY TAN BUENA PERSONA.
SOY MUY ORGANIZADA Y RESPONSABLE | ME OCUPO DE TODOS LOS REGALOS; SOY LA QUE PLANEA SALIDAS DE GRUPOS DE AMIGOS; ME QUEDO DESPUÉS DE HORA EN MI TRABAJO PARA MOSTRAR TODO LA SACRIFICADA QUE SOY.
SOY RE GRACIOSO/A | NO PARO NUNCA DE BROMEAR. SOY EL QUE DIVIERTE A MIS AMIGOS. CUANDO NO LLAMO LA ATENCIÓN DUPLICO EL ESFUERZO.
SOY FUERTE | APRENDÍ EN LA VIDA QUE HAY QUE SER FUERTE. NUNCA MUESTRO DEBILIDAD. MOSTRAR QUE ESTOY TRISTE O QUE ME DUELE EL ALMA, HABLA MAL DE MÍ.
Estas creencias van acompañadas de decisiones acerca de qué hacemos. Por supuesto que la segunda columna no es tan clara a la conciencia de las personas.
Me gusta la metáfora que uso a veces con mis pacientes, en la que podemos pensar que los pensamientos en los que estamos atentos son como el auto que manejo por la autopista. Sin embargo, aunque estemos atentos al camino que tenemos por delante, hay un montón de autos yendo en diversas direcciones en las autopistas de abajo nuestro, en otra velocidad, a los que no podemos acceder sin bajarlos del auto o dirigir el vehículo hasta ahí. No podemos tener nuestra atención en ellos, porque de otra manera, chocaríamos. No podemos estar en dos lados a la vez igualmente atentos.
Esto sucede con nuestros pensamientos.
La segunda columna de la tabla de ejemplos, no es tan accesible a nuestra conciencia (se requiere trabajo). Pero eso no elimina los pensamientos. Están. Y generan efectos en nuestro ánimo, en lo que hacemos y en las conclusiones que sacamos.
Qué tal si le damos una revisada a los aspectos de nuestra personalidad que se nos están convirtiendo en nuestra propia trampa? Esto que me funcionó en el pasado, me sigue sirviendo en la actualidad? Qué costo estoy pagando? El supuesto beneficio que obtendría, es tal?
Todos los espacios que abrimos para pensarnos y re pensarnos, son lugares a los que me gusta invitarlos e invitarme.
A veces podemos hacerlo solos, o con amigos. A veces, nos sentimos incómodos y no sabemos por qué. Tal vez pedir ayuda es una buena opción.
Lic. Verónica Selem
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