El amor, es una estrategia humana destinada a asegurar nuestra supervivencia. Así nomás!
Pero contrariamente a lo que la mayoría piensa, no me refiero a la supervivencia de la especie en el sentido reproductivo, sino a la supervivencia individual.
Estamos programados genéticamente para buscar y sostener el AMOR de otro que va a responder a mis necesidades, no solo de alimento y abrigo, sino de SEGURIDAD EMOCIONAL.
Desde bebés necesitamos saber que hay ALGUIEN para el que soy especial y va a responder en mis momentos de necesidad: miedo, angustia, dolor, incertidumbre…
Desde bebés, sabemos exactamente qué hacer para “asegurarnos” el amor de esa fuente de seguridad emocional: Ser tiernitos, hacer monerías son algunas de las cosas que vamos aprendiendo, sin palabras, a hacer para no perder a ese “traductor” de nuestras necesidades. Llorar y patalear también son estrategias de protesta para recuperarlos cuando no están disponibles.
Ya la ciencia dejó comprobado que esa conexión emocional, ese otro del cual dependemos emocionalmente, sigue toda la vida.
Se trata de una dependencia bien entendida, donde cada uno se potencia con el otro. No es una dependencia en la que sin tu aprobación no puedo hacer nada. Es interdependencia, donde la sinergia es resultado de esa unión.
Está comprobado científicamente que las enfermedades crónicas y los estudios invasivos son más fáciles de transitar para la persona si cuenta con su persona de apego, disponible, que responde y comprometida afectivamente con ella.
Eso es el amor, entonces. Ese vínculo de seguridad que buscamos toda la vida. Desde el momento en que nacemos hasta nuestra vida adulta. Nuestro refugio en momentos de vulnerabilidad. Nuestra estación de servicio para cargar nafta y seguir el viaje.
Todos buscamos seguridad emocional. Un otro, Mi persona. Del que ser prioridad.
Eso es universal. Es una condición de nuestra naturaleza. Pero nuestra cultura occidental nos indica lo contrario. “Sé independiente”, “tenés que poder ser feliz solo”, y luchamos para no reconocer cuánto necesitamos de ese tipo de vínculos…y cuánto nos aterra la soledad…
Lic. Verónica Selem
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